Monopoly
Last night, Kate and I cracked out the Aussie edition of Monopoly again.
Whether or not the stars were aligned in my favour or my wishes had come true I could not say, but luck was on my side. I really should be buying a lottery ticket. As I blistered around the board, buying up utilities, railway and enough properties to accumulate a steady income of rent, my opponent complied, landing on my utilities, railway and my selected properties. This gradually infuriated her. To the point where I actually feared for my life.
The rage was further magnified when I managed to purchase King Avenue, adding to my already owned Flinders Way (Mayfair and Park Lane for the traditionalists) locking down the most potent and valuable properties on the board.
As time passed, I embarked on great construction ventures. Soon my beautiful, opulent houses lines the streets of King Avenue and Flinders Way. Sprawling mansions of the utmost grandeur, towering Victorian styled structures, enormous Mediterranean dwellings, groundbreaking examples of postmodern architecture. One could have almost mistaken it for Malibu. As the years past and the coffers grew, the inevitable redevelopment, once a distant dream on the horizon of the game board, became a reality.
King Avenue and Flinders Way became hotel hot spots.
I have never owned hotels on the dark blue’s before. In fact, it is a rare game that I even get to build multiples of houses. So now armed with the most elite of the hotels in Monopolyville, all I had to do was sit back and wait for the $1700 a night, or $2000 a night hotel stays to come into play.
She resisted for a number of laps around the ‘Ville. But soon enough, the dazzling lights of my beautiful hotels were simply too much for her. Kate came and stayed at my King’s Avenue hotel. Imagine my surprise, come the morning, when she was unable to pay the bill.
I am pleased to say I escaped with my life. There were a few moments during the barrage of shoes, pillows, chairs and priceless Ming vases that came in the direction of my head where I thought ‘this is it’ but I maintained my cool, exercised my ninja-like reflexes and avoided all life-threatening projectiles and closed my mind off to the verbal assault that ensued.
Monopoly. It looks an innocent board game on the shelf. It even seems like a great idea when you lay out the cards and deal the money. But the reality is a harsh mistress. A cruel demon summoned from the depths of Hell. It turns people into frustrated, hollow shells of their former selves.
Take heed and bear witness to my experience. Don’t play Monopoly unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences.
…
* Entire entry may be a gross exaggeration, riddled with sarcasm. Said game may have been quite enjoyable. Kate also may not have thrown things at me.
becca3003 said,
May 6, 2007 @ 8:45 pm
I don’t like playing monopoly! Bloody evil game! I never win and I swear it’s because Matt always cheats!
Although that said, whenever I’ve played the Disney version with Becky I never seem to win either 
It’s a mean game and I don’t like playing it 
Only like playing games I know I can win at 
Kate said,
May 6, 2007 @ 9:51 pm
Like Uno…I like that game cause I know I am in with just as good a chance. Monopoly i am so bad at! Mind you the first time I actually started playing it I was 17…And hadn’t played it since then…So I am lacking the experience!
Besides…It was more fun after watching movies and trailers! 
love you xx
And I am sorry for being mad at you but it was horrible for me going around the board doing nothing much else but paying you like $100 here and there and getting a measly $20 back every time you landed on my property. It just wasn’t going to end nicely
And if i do recall correctly, I was throwing the dice at you and the money at you…and everything else i had my hands on..So the blog wasn’t entirely over exaggerated…
vanwall said,
May 7, 2007 @ 3:55 am
That’s why i don’t play with my two sons anymore. One son seems to ALWAYS wins, and the other son gets pissed off. No fun. I’m with Kate, Uno is better.
ScottyB said,
May 7, 2007 @ 11:02 am
Seems the opinion is pretty unanimous here…
I was trying to help you Kate, saying you didn’t really throw that stuff at me, but seeing as its out there now, I’ll agree in saying that dice and money was thrown in my general direction.
Thankfully no harm came from it
V, yes I can see the lack of appeal now. I was talking to my parents about it last night and apparently my half-Brother was also notorious for dummy-spitting when the dice didn’t roll his way…. (usually resulting in him wiping the board, or throwing it across the room). My parents never played it with him again.
vanwall said,
May 7, 2007 @ 2:19 pm
Did your Monopoly version have the little metal game pieces? That little car really hurts when it hits.
ScottyB said,
May 7, 2007 @ 4:50 pm
That’s the kit, Vanwall.. hahaha - little, but they pack a punch!
Kate said,
May 7, 2007 @ 11:40 pm
haha oh I hope your parents don’t think I’m a tantrum thrower Scotty!! Its a very frustrating game and it doesn’t help that I am.. a little competitive!
Although I do admit that Christina is a nice singer. And Missys’ CDs don’t do her voice any justice.
Missy Higgins is so so so so good. She is my new inspiration. I want to be Missy Higgins. I’m sorry but she is SO much better than Christina Aguilera. Missy Higgins can sing the same sort of feel good emotional songs and doesn’t need to wear a short skirt and hair extensions to make it sound good