Bugs
I don’t know what’s going on here today, but the office is being swarmed by tiny black bugs.
I think they are gnats, but my degree in Entomology was downloaded from the Internet, (along with the Degree of Rocket Science, Neurosurgery and Quantum Mechanics) so I can’t be completely sure that they are indeed, gnats.
Whatever the subclass these little heathens belong to is irrelevant anyway; All that matters in this blog entry is their bearing on my life and the utter dismay they are causing me. Interrupting my ability to work in a closed, secure environment without being disturbed.
Every minute or so, one of these little blighters flies around my desk, hovers in front of the screen or attempts to land in my eye. So I madly swipe at the air in front of me in a vain attempt to get another 30 seconds of peace before the next intrusion.
I imagine to the casual onlooker, I would look like a crazy person swatting the non-existent rays that are trying to read his mind. I can just see me, two years from now, running down the street in my underwear, cursing the Government for its gnat conspiracies. Perhaps they were sent here to spy on me. Maybe they are not gnats at all. Maybe they are ingenious pieces of microscopic insect look-alike technology; armed with spy cameras and tiny sound recorders, monitoring my every move. Informing Big Brother (the Government, not the garbage reality TV show) of my whereabouts and researching my plans for World Domination and the global eradication of Asparagus.
Or perhaps they are just gnats. Looking for a warm, damp place to set up camp. Give birth to a few million babies.
They need to be informed that my eyes are not such a place. Nor is the desk, or my sandwich for that matter.
becca3003 said,
May 15, 2007 @ 6:03 pm
PMSL you mad bugger!
Stick some goggles on and you wont have a problem with them trying to land in your eye 
I can imagine you waving your arms around your head like a crazy person trying to swat the flies :p And yes it really is a conspiracy! told you before, all insects and bugs are out to get us!!
We’ve not got gnats (or midges as well call them) here yet. Won’t be long though, they all appear in the summer!
hate them! looking forward though to watching Max jump in the air and try and catch them with his paws, as he likes to do! 
vanwall said,
May 16, 2007 @ 11:51 am
Yes, my gnat-bots have had a few chuckles over your underwear choices, ScottyB, but they have strict orders to turn off the cameras when Kate visits. They are keeping tabs on your DVD rentals and they especially liked reading over your shoulder while you perused your copy of “The Autobiography of a Flea” - gave them some ideas for later, you naughty boy! Keep up the good work.
Kate said,
May 16, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
haha. How can i compete with that. Well said Vanwall! Have you seen the boxers with the frogs on them? They are classic…
Good thing they switch off when I get there. Hate for them to see my underwear…just joking…
vanwall said,
May 16, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
Aha! I always thought ScottyB was a froggy undies sorta guy!
ScottyB said,
May 16, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
Bec, LOL - I’m starting to think there may have been some reality in those words! I first thought you were crazy when you told me all insects were just out to get us.. and until recently, I’d have disagreed.. but these gnats are ridiculous!
V - dammit! I knew I should have been more careful with what I was wearing around the office and in the ‘privacy’ of my own home!
And please don’t tell Kate about those *other* DVD’s I’ve been renting out…
Katie, you know you love the ‘Kiss it and see’ boxers just as much as me
Kate said,
May 16, 2007 @ 11:22 pm
Oh. I do love those boxers. They are indeed rather comfortable i admit that.
And ahem. What *other* DVD’s but the ones we watch together? you mean you have more of them?!!
ScottyB said,
May 17, 2007 @ 9:05 am
No idea what Vanwall is talking about babe..
*whistles*
Kate said,
May 18, 2007 @ 8:38 am
I’m watching you.