The collected works of ScottyB

Of buying model cars.

The fatal mistake of visiting the local model car shop was made on Saturday.

As I wandered down the isles of pure cast-metal bliss, I salivated at the prospects. Rush after rush of adrenaline goodness surged through my veins. This was the old days, the good days. I remembered that feeling like it was just yesterday; Identifying the cars as if they were my children, remembering their numerous motor sport victories and conquests of automotive engineering.

I picked up a box.

The Porsche 997 Michelin liveried Carrera Cup car.

Beside it, the 2006 Corvette C6R.

Below, the Xanavi liveried Nismo 350Z JGTC championship winning car.

The shelves were full of wallet-raping models. It should be illegal to taunt potential consumers with so much pure, uncut eye-candy.

Then my eyes fell upon the one I had been lusting after for quite some time. The Christina Aguilera of model cars. The ‘#007′ 2006 Aston Martin DBR-9 LeMans car.

More than once I succumbed to the temptation. I picked it up with the gentle hand of an enthusiast, cradled it under my arm and carried it to the register.

But something inside me stopped me from going through with the transaction.

Maybe it was the $135 price tag, maybe it was the subconscious in me, telling me that this would be the beginning of yet another slippery-slope of downward-spiral purchasing, the spending sprees, the box-set blitzes.

I replaced it back on the shelf. It took all of my will power to turn my back and walk away.

Maybe next time evil model car God.

Saved again.

Imagine my surprise, wandering into Target, admiring the boxes of ‘ON SALE’ DVD’s when I happened upon this:

Usually TV series’ are expensive, especially the complete season DVD’s. Not this one however. Target came through for me and allowed me to walk out of the shop only $16.99 lighter. Awesome.

Especially awesome since I missed the first two episodes on the television and it was only because Matt told me to watch it that I even got viewing in the first place.

I’m not a big TV watcher, in fact, these days the only time I turn on the television is to put on a DVD - so I rely on people that still watch mainstream, free-to-air TV to introduce me to these little gems.

The IT Crowd is set in the offices of Reynholm Industries, a fictitious British corporation in central London. It focuses on the shenanigans of the three-strong IT support team located in a dingy, untidy and unkempt basement - a stark contrast to the shining modern architecture and stunning London views enjoyed by the rest of the organisation.

Moss and Roy, the two technicians, are portrayed as socially inept geeks. Despite the company’s utter dependence on their services, they are despised by the rest of the staff. Roy’s exasperation is reflected in his support techniques of ignoring the phone in the hope it will stop ringing, and using reel-to-reel tape recordings of stock IT suggestions (”Have you tried turning it off and on again?” and “Is it definitely plugged in?”). Moss’s wide and intricate knowledge of all things technical is reflected in his extremely accurate yet utterly indecipherable suggestions, while demonstrating a complete inability to deal with practical problems like extinguishing fires and removing spiders.

Jen, the newest member of the team, is hopelessly non-technical, despite claiming on her CV that she has “a lot of experience with computers”. As Denholm, the company boss, is equally tech-illiterate, he’s convinced by Jen’s interview bluffing and appoints her head of the I.T. department. Her official title is “relationship manager”, yet her attempts at bridging the gulf between the technicians and the business generally have the opposite effect, landing Jen in situations just as ludicrous as those of her team-mates.

Moss: I’ll just put this over here with the rest of the fire.

Roy: I’m a lonely loner. On a lonely road. Alone.

Even the DVD menu is fun.. showing a parody of isometric adventure games of old.

[Moss and Roy downloading a picture of the woman who replied to Roy's fake classified ad at "pre-broadband-speed"]
Roy: Nice hair so far.
Roy: Eyebrows seem normal.
Moss: Two eyes. The best amount of eyes.
Roy: Nice eyes too. It has to go around. She must have a shite nose.
Roy: Oh, do you remember the internet at this speed? Up all night and you’d see 8 women.

Great find.

Finally got around to washing Obsession yesterday.

It’s not that I’ve been slack and it’s not that I’ve been too busy to do it - rather the state of the weather lately, coupled with the grubby parking conditions at work - had meant I’ve just not been able to do it.

Even today, it has been raining on and off, making me question my motives in spending ~2 hours washing and detailing the MINI.

However, take a step back, look at the shiny paintwork, the flawless reflective finish, the deep black roof, the vibrant gleaming chromes and you quickly realise it was all worth it.

Even if the forecast is for rain tomorrow. Even if she will be as dirty again in a matter of days.

There’s something therapeutic about washing the car, it’s like a minor stress reliever.

Shame I haven’t managed to get out and snap some pictures this weekend. I’m really gagging for one of those quiet, get lost, take photos, get found again days.

I thought it was time to make this important announcement - and what better place to do it than on my blog, allowing all of my closest friends to know this fantastic news?!

It had been rumoured for a while and some of you have joked about it for quite some time. Deep down, I knew it would be a reality some day - but today we got confirmation.

Christina Aguilera is pregnant.

What.. you weren’t thinking this entry was about anything else were you?