I want a Chameleon…
Undoubtedly the coolest reptile around has to be the Chameleon.
Chameleons (family Chamaeleonidae) are squamates that belong to one of the best-known lizard families. The name “chameleon” means “Earth lion” and is derived from the Greek words chamai (on the ground, on the earth) and leon (lion).
Unfortunately, they are illegal in Australia. So as much as I’d love to be sitting at the PC, posting on M2, or watching TV with a Chameleon sitting atop my shoulder, its just not going to happen.
That is, unless I open my own Zoo.
I’ve looked into this and there are a number of negatives. Firstly, there’s all the red tape involved. Policies, restrictions, licenses, tariffs, endless mountains of paperwork - and for someone like me with no prior experience in any of that stuff, I’m facing a difficult task. I’d need experience in corporate accounting, or I’d need someone to do it for me. I’d need to know all the laws regarding importing of exotic animals and requirements when doing so. I’d need to do this all pretty quickly too. Sure, I could buy a couple of degrees online - I mean I’ve received those ‘Purchase Cheap Degrees and Diplomas’ emails before - but in reality, I’d probably need the associated skills that you actually learn when you earn these said Degrees and Diplomas.
Secondly, there is the added downside of my unfamiliarity with zoology and zoo-like trades. I have no diplomas or degrees in anything with a ‘zoo’ prefix, so this sort of venture would require a complete retooling of my life and educational avenue.
Thirdly, I would require a large plot of land, preferably in an area with easy access for visitors with relative location to major forms of transportation (i.e. roads, trains etc) which means my backyard is probably out. It would require substantial area for parking as well. Amenities and public facilities would also need to be located on-site and I’m sure there’s also lots more red-tape involved when you start talking about people’s safety and food/drink licensing etc. I’m going to need teams of Lawyers for when someone trips over the gutter out front.
Finally, money. I’m told you need a substantial amount of it to start a Zoo. This is perhaps the most defining factor in this whole idea. This is perhaps my greatest downfall. With my limited experience regarding running a Zoo and despite what Microsoft’s hit game, Zoo Tycoon 2 will tell me, its apparently not easy to start a Zoo, not easy to start with $40,000 in the bank (and apparently, 40K won’t get me very far in the real World either) and there’s no such thing as free land - and I most certainly can’t enter cheats to get more wads of easy cash. Which poses a significant problem for the ongoing profitability and sustainability of said Zoo.
There is the option of armed robbery and extortion, but its really not me. Printing your own money is difficult in Australia because its all plastic, and Monopoly money isn’t usable currency. Meaning I’m really up the proverbial creek without a paddle.
I’m sure there are more issues involved in starting up a Zoo, but at the current point in time, it all seems a little too much of a drama just for the sake of owning a pet Chameleon. I guess for the time being at least, I best put that one to the back of my mind, filed under the ‘Great idea, but unlikely to happen’ category.
Source: Wikipedia: The Chameleon
Kate said,
June 28, 2007 @ 10:49 pm
Well…Maybe the black market is the way to go? Who is going to notice a little Chameleon in the backyard!!!!
My other is Marketing, so I can help with the getting together of financial help from sponsors and I can help advertise the place and the other is Management and organisational behaviours so I can help run the place!
Speaking of Business and degrees, I today enroled into Business…Picked all my subjects (with the help of a lovely lady at uni) and even emailed my chosen subjects to the enrolment office. Tomorrow I am going in to the uni to register for my tutes…And life is sweet! This morning I was in a bit of a pickle because I was actively enrolled into two different programs and tonight I am ready for Business!!!
One of my subjects is Accounting and the other is Law…so Maybe i could help with the Zoo???!!!
Seems we are a team! All for a pet Chameleon!
ScottyB said,
June 29, 2007 @ 12:00 am
Nooo.. I couldn’t do that babe! Never mind.. all seemed like a bit too much hassle
Nice work on the enrollment! Hope it all goes well - speak to you about it later!
becca3003 said,
June 29, 2007 @ 5:11 am
why don’t you win the lottery, then buy all the land you need, but then get someone else to sort out all the legal things, paperwork etc
then you can have your Chameleon 
Have to say it would be really cool though to own a Chameleon! you’d have to keep a good eye out for it though, you might lose it when it changes colour!
Josh and Ali said,
June 29, 2007 @ 11:50 am
I know your pain scotty.
I have wanted a Chameleon for years….
I have no idea why they don’t fall into the same categories as keeping exotic snakes, or lizards….
maybe one day they will change the law…… when that happens, i am in.
oh btw. i thought i read a few years ago, it was legal to keep them in WA. ill have to double check that again.
Vanwall said,
July 1, 2007 @ 12:48 pm
My herp buddies tell me chameleons aren’t the easiest lizards to keep - they’re more particular about living quarters and eats. Handling the small ones is always hard on their little constitutions, as is any small herp - fun to watch for while, tho. I prefer geckos, they’re pretty fun little buggers, and are easier to feed. In AZ’s sunny clime, where I used to spend me time, I had more lizards around than was imaginable - the desert is great for that, but even then, lizards are best left to themselves. We have plenty running around out here in Dago, so we still have our little lizard buddies sunning themselves on the walls.
ScottyB said,
July 2, 2007 @ 11:27 am
Any pics, V?